a sad moment..

"When You're Gone"

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now


We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

My favourite quote..something that defines me.

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

wasting time

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

life..

Azi a fost o zi frumoasa.....semn ca exista cineva acolo sus care vrea sa fiu fericita :) Pierdeam vremea aiurea la o terasa discutand despre: zodii, horoscop..oare l-a inventat o femeie sau un barbat? Am tot cautat si nu am gasit nicaieri...
Si m-am hotatat ca pentru orice greseala fac sa dau vina pe zodia mea: TAUR! Asa ca toate defectele pe care le voi enumera mai jos sunt din cauza zodiei, planetelor, ascendentului!
-Zodia mea e guvernata cica de planeta Venus ( Venus, zeita desfranarii, geloziei si hedonismului. Zeita „vreau aia… si aia… si aialalta…) asa ca e vina mea ca vreau de toate! Eu doar am iesit la momentul nepotrivit.
- incapatanata, cu prejudecati si cu probleme de greutate, e tot vina zodiei..clar!
- Emotionala. Nu vad si alte puncte de vedere. Degeaba incearca cineva sa imi demonstreze teorii..eu le am pe ale mele..
-Pozez mereu in calitatea victimei, am tendinte violente si incep certurile doar din amuzament, dau edicte si fac planuri pentru viata tuturor si ma astept la supunere oarba.
-sa te certi sau sa discuti rational cu mine e inutil pentru ca eu am mereu dreptate.
-sunt o supravietuitoare si o sa ma razbun intr-un fel sau altul. Sunt judecatorul si juriul celor care m-au fraierit macar un pic iar sentinta o sa atarne deasupra capului lor tot restul vietii. Ai intarziat la cina o data? Asteapta-te sa iti fie adus aminte pe patul de moarte. Nu uit niciodata.
-Fa-ma sa plang si o sa stau toata ziua pe canapea mancand inghetata. Enerveaza-ma si o sa stai toata ziua pe podea cu ochiul umflat.

deci: no comment!

......feelings..

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true. At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

sunt toti niste copii....

Barbatii astia....oare de ce au toti, sau cel putin cei pe care ii stiu eu o frica sa se implice? de ce nu se bazeaza doar pe sentimente?...
De parca toti ar citi sfaturile din reviste si s-ar ghida dupa ele...cand de fapt acei oameni scriu niste lucruri pur comerciale, vorba lui Costica : "castiga si ei o paine"....sau cea mai tare faza..."nu vreau sa sufar din nou...deaia nu ma atasez"..ca fosta a fost nu stiu cum.
De fapt asta face lucrurile mai interesante, nesiguranta, lupta...riscul, cel putin in cazul meu..
M-am ars de foarte multe ori, am parca magnet la oameni cu probleme, care au un trecut care ii bantuie...dar tot nu renunt, continui sa sper...pe cand ei...pornesc cu un negativism de parca daca ar suferi putin ar fi sfarsitul lumii, se lasa influentati de prieteni, familie...gasesc mereu cate un motiv sa se departeze....
asta in cazul in care le dam de inteles ca vrem o relatie, ca ne-am indragostit de ei.
Daca ne purtam indiferent cu ei...se simt neglijati...
-stiu o poveste de cand eram mica..cu un copil si un iepuras, daca ii dadeai iepurele in mana se speria si plagea..daca nu-l lasai sa puna mana pe el, iar plangea...

Mistakes....

We all make them. They usually start with the best of intentions. Like keeping a secret to protect someone.. or getting some distance from the person you've become. Sometimes we don't even know what mistakes we've made to get us where we are.. or we figure it out just in time to make it right again. But every mistake happens for a reason - to teach you a lesson you would otherwise never learn. And hopefully you'll never make that mistake again. Lucky for me, that never happens.
I should of know that it was too good to last. It's just... I was having so much fun hanging out with a normal guy.... or that's what I thought...anyway I miss him :) a lot :(